Goodfornothing

    #

    April 13

    Magnus → Isak, Jonas, Mahdi

    (7:23pm)

    Magnus: Do you know that cheetahs are not capable of running at highest speed for more than fifteen seconds?

    because their tiny little brains can't sustain the temperature elevated by running

  

    Mahdi: really?

    so what, they stop to take a rest every fifteen seconds?

    Magnus: exactly

    otherwise they'll literally burn to death

    Jonas: how do you know about this?

    Magnus: documentary

    that's right suckas, I watch doc, and learn!

    Mahdi: chill man, nobody said anything

    Magnus: believe me, I can sense your judgments from AIR

    or radio waves in it

    is that what messages are transferred through?

    Jonas: keep watching docmentaries and you'll find out

    Magnus: YOU BET I WILL SMARTASS

    anyway

    I kinda feel sorry for these poor things

    Mahdi: who? cheetahs?

    Jonas: why? because they're the fastest animals walking on earth and can kill you with one slap?

    Magnus: good point

    but no

    can you imagine how horrible their sex must be like?

    I bet the lady cheetahs out there never have a decent orgasm in their entire lives

    they're like, okay, there you go, ten seconds, done

    Mahdi: wow, didn't see that coming

    but I think their intercourses are just for inproduction?

    as long as the dudes goal in, I don't think the ladies give much shit about time

    or pleasure

    Magnus: huh

    interesting

    what about the gay cheetahs?

    I'm sure they don't do it for baby

    BTW where's Isak?

    Jonas: according to Even's ins, they're having dinner in some fancy restaurant

    with candles&flowers&all

    Mahdi: how could you possibly still following him?

    Jonas: what do you mean?

    they're cute

    Magnus: in a disgusting way

    Isak: ...you know I'm in this group right?

    Magnus: oh here you are

    okay, tell me my friend

    do you admit that your intercourses with someone of your own sex is in persuit of sheer joy?

    

    (6min later)

    Magnus: uhm, maybe it's not explicit enough for you to answer

    let me try another way

    did you ever have orgasm during your sexual experiences with men?

  

   (3min later)

    Isak: *MAN

    singular

    only Even

    *orgasmS

    plural

    and I won't dignify your question with an answer

    Magnus: awww don't be shy

    it's nice to share knowledge with your friends

    I'm so proud of you

    Isak: it's not knowledge

    it's privacy

    you dumbass

    Magnus: it's possible that cheetahs consider their endurance problem as privacy too

    but people find out anyway

    you know why?

    Mahdi: because people put cameras on them all day long?

    Magnus: no, because IT'S DAMN HARD TO NOT NOTICE!

    Isak: notice what?

    Magnus: they stop running every fifteen seconds!

    scroll up your messages man it's right there

    Jonas: no Magnus he means what did you notice about HIM

    Magnus: oh

    right

    sorry

    I mean the obscene sound you make IN PUBLIC when you talk with him!

    THE HICKEYS ALL OVER YOUR BODY!!

    and in case you don't know you can use foundation to cover them

    like the make up

    Vilda shew me once, it's freaking magic

    now I use it to cover my pimples

    Isak: well, Even may find it useful but

    fine by me

    I don't have anything to hide

    Magnus: that's what I'm talking about bro!

    you feel comfortable with your relationship , right?

    you like to show off your intimacy

    Isak: excuse you?

    I just can't help being close with him okay?

    not showing off

    nah

    Mahdi: you can't hear me but I snorted

    aloud

    Isak: okay

    maybe a little?

    Jonas: it's not a bad thing

    you guys are cute

    and definitely not in a disgusting way

    Isak: thank you J

    Magnus: whatever

    all I wanna say is that if you don't want me to ask, sure, I'll never ask again, it's fine

    Mahdi: I'm sensing a but here

    Magnus: BUT

    I don't want you to get the wrong idea that there's something "private" that you can't talk with us

    we are bros, dude

    we talk about EVERY-F*KING-THING

    Jonas: he's right you know

    we don't want that "family meetings" incident happens again, do we?

    Isak: no we don't

    thanks bros

    I appreciate it

    Magnus: good

    now let's officially start talking about Isak's sex life

    Mahdi: objection!

    let's talk about yours

    as a straight single man I find yours more tempting

    Jonas: seconded

    Isak: thirded

    Mahdi: 3 to 1

    BRING IT MAGNUS!

 

   (4min later)

    Jonas: hello?

    

    Isak: did you die?

    (7min later)

    Magnus: hey guys this is Vilda

    me and this little piece of shit have something negotiation to do right now

    talk to you later <3

    (2h43min later)

    Magnus: next time she took my phone

    CALL POLICE

    Mahdi: oh you're alive!

    good night then

    Jonas: night

    see you tomorrow

    Magnus: you'll be punished for your betrayals

    be afraid

    be very afraid

    (32min later)

    Isak: good night